It IS a big deal! Why? How would he not do well after all the preparation he’s had? It has cost me a lot of time, effort and money. To crown it all, I’m so embarrassed to tell my friends. Their children performed much better.
Why do we as parents go through these emotions when our children do not meet up to our academic expectations? Or even our expectations in general? We appear happy to wear their successes on our sleeves like a badge, an extension of our egos, but do we really take the time to understand our children? To understand what they are going through and provide the support they need to cope?
Stop to think, what is that child going through? How encouraged are they by your reaction? Should they be an extension of your own (non) achievements?
Someone once said we often see our children as a product of their upbringing which is why we feel their successes and failures so keenly. Perhaps in some remote corner of our minds, we feel we may have failed them somehow, that we haven’t paid sufficient attention and therefore our parenting is not up to scratch.
We all know that the significance of the 11 plus, GCSE or even A Level results fades almost completely by the time the child is in his or her late 30s. Whilst we encourage our children to do well in school. We must realise that school grades don’t represent the end of the story.
We want children who can find the strength to bounce back through failure. Wholesome children who not only succeed in school, but through life – with its ups and downs.
Provide the support and encouragement they need through the tough times,and they will come shining through in the end. So will you.